Robin McLean

A guest blog (already) by Debbie McLean on the subjects of Divorce, Canniblism and strategies for ridding yourself of the Pets with Long Life Spans.

Ok, the Newts...I have been tormented (a little) with guilt since they died. So the best thing to do is come clean and process my feelings with close family and friends (who I know care -- a lot!)

I'm not sure when they died. It was July (I think). I found them in their tank one day waterless and sort of crunchy. I know--a horrible way to go. And here's thing--I was relieved! Maybe even a little happy. I hated those newts. They ate their babies...and by the way, did you know that newts can live to be 22, and they can reproduce whether they are male or female. I'm not sure how that works, but I'm sure I read it somewhere.!!!!! They're creepy. Who wants slimy, baby-eating reptiles living in a home with children! We were petrified of them. No one would go near them.

So I'm sure you are thinking, so why did you have newts in the first place? It goes back to the summer of 2008. I had just gotten divorced and my sweet, little Carlyn asked me for newts. Who was I to deny her? I immediately ran and out bought her two. She named them Bubbles and Spectacular.

We were happy. Her interest lasted about a week.

Five years later, and dozens of babies eaten, those newts were going strong. Learning about their cannibalistic ways was, I have to say, a turning point for me.

I tried to give them away...But eventually we all sort of forgot about them. When our dog ate their food, and we never got around to replacing it, they simply lived off the green muck in their tank, which of course we did not clean because we did not want to touch the Newts (or encourage longevity). They showed no signs of distress. I could not imagine having them for another 17 years!

I am not sad they are gone, ok?! I'm relieved...and I feel a lot better now that I've gotten this off my chest.

Thanks for listening. I feel like a new person.



If you would like to contribute a fish (or reptile) obituary to this blog, please jump over to my contact page or write a comment below with the basics.

Robin McLean also blogs at Mike's Maze.