Robin McLean

The First in a Series of Sea Creature Obituaries by the elusive Kate C concerning Gourmet Lunches, the Lack of Perks for Guest Bloggers, the Under-Representation of Guest Bloggers at Staff Meetings, Expenses Run Rampant, Bankruptcy, the Eating Habits of Large Aquatic Predators, Kayaks as Snacks, and Fear of Death.

Dear Robin,

In response to your Fish Obituaries' lunch meeting--a meeting (1) to which I was not invited, and (2) in which the amount of discussion about lunch roughly equaled the amount of discussion about blog ratings--I propose that you increase your focus on hot topics in the news. (I have to ask, was the lunch paid for out of blog income? I sincerely hope not. As a bankruptcy lawyer, I can just see where this is going.)

In my hometown of Scituate, we are in the throes of a crisis. A great white shark has possibly been spotted just off of our shores, possibly snacking on a poor helpless seal. Actually, a seal would be more like dinner, not a snack, right? Although for a great white shark, maybe a seal is just a snack. But the point is, we are all in danger. The notice I am forwarding you, spotted at the sea entrances around my neighborhood, proves it. This warning was followed by an article in the Boston Globe, verifying the possible sighting.

As a resident of the town, I have grave concerns about the safety of the water. Fortunately, the feeling that an ordinary person experiences from stepping into the Atlantic Ocean is very similar to the feeling of stepping into a very large glass filled to the brim with ice cubes. This should act as a deterrent to most residents seeking a to take a little swim. So I guess my concern is mainly about the seals, as well as any dogs that may be known to enter the water. Plus residents in kayaks, as a kayak in which two women were paddling was recently attacked, possibly by a great white shark, off the shores of nearby Plymouth. No one was hurt, thank goodness, and hopefully the alleged shark learned his lesson about biting into a kayak (yuk, I'm guessing) but is the posted warning enough? I am no scientist, but I believe that dogs and seals cannot read.

Little seal
Swimming
Harming no one
But Illiterate,
Cannot read warning signs
Chomp! You are gone
Nature is cruel, indeed.

RIP

If you would like to contribute a fish (or reptile) obituary to this blog, please post a comment below with the basics.
Robin McLean also blogs at Mike's Maze.