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Robin McLean

FISH OBITUARIES (RESURRECTED)
 

LOST AND FOUND OBJECTS: LAKE STORY #1

January 27, 2015
In this collaborative post, a story told by Mac before the funeral of his beloved and only sister, Anne, described to and recorded by Fish Obit's editors, Concerning Searching, Blue Berry Bushes, Mean Old Ladies, Fear and Finding, the Enchanting Powers of Young Girls, Enticing Brooks, Enticing Shores, Enticing Water.

Anne was lost once before.

When Anne was 5 or 6 she went missing at the lake. It was just a regular day out there and Anne went missing. Pretty young. No one could find her. We were really panicked. The Hopkins were there. Mum was there. Dad was not. He was in  Read More 
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BOOK CHAT #1 /GENIUS IN TEXAS

January 22, 2015
The First in a Series of Book Chats, and in the Spirit of Fish Obits' unquenchable desire to have other people do our work, a post by new and fabulous novelist and genius guest blogger Lori Reisenbichler, which first appeared on Girlfriends Bookclub, Concerning First Books, Comradeship, Large US States (but not the Biggest), Anxiety, Diversity, Anxiety, Goals and Dreams, Anxiety, Mysteries of Motivation, Shoes, Backbones and Anxiety.

CELEBRATE: DON'T FORGET THAT PART

I’m just about to launch my first novel and I have no idea what I’m doing.

There is no shortage of online advice for the debut author, but the more I read, the more confused I get. A few months ago, I realized I needed to find a good reliable sounding board. I wanted the perspective of other writers going through the same process at the same time instead of someone who wanted to sell me something. I found what I was looking for when I participated in the Launch Lab, a program offered by Grub Street, a literary center in Boston. I live in Texas,  Read More 
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BOTCHED BOSNIAN DOG DROP: TORONTO

January 19, 2015

DOG LOTTERY MEGA-WINNER

Given that all Dog Drops are exhausting, this Post has taken some time to produce, but Concerns Lost and Found Objects, Unnecessary Appendages, International Adoptions, Missed Flights, Effective Letter Writing, Small Dogs, Junior Hockey, Bad Dogs, Strange Basements, Lucky Dogs, Wasted Fossil Fuel, Caffeine, Cruise Control and Home Sweet Home.

Bosnian Bob

In Sarajevo he lay in the street for three days before rescue. They could not sew his tail back on. He missed his first flight from Germany when the delivery van got the departure time wrong. He chewed up an orthodontic retainer back at the Frankfurt foster's. He made his flight from Berlin the second time.  Read More 
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Guy with Chainsaw in My Throat

January 7, 2015
In this lyrical and meditative epistolary/text-post from Fish Obit's youngest guest blogger, 12-year old Sophie, she explores Blame, Lost and Found Objects, Chain Saws in Unusual Places, Missing Mothers, The Bewitching Influence of Young Girls, Frustration, Grief, Annoying Sickness, Horfing as Verb, Parental Manipulations, Happiness, Lotion People, Basking in the Digital Age, Sisters, and Squirming out of School Tomorrow.

Kate lost two of my, I mean… Your brand new pencils, yeah… I’ll, or you’ll need some more, and I may or may not be done with my homework.:0 :) I really hope that your having fun, cause me, well, lets just say I’m not doing so great myself. I feel like a guy crawled down my throat and skinned it with a chainsaw! I hope I’m better by the time we go to Arizona, cause if not, my trip will kinda suck. Oh mom, I wish you were here, you would have something to say to make me feel better. If only I never got sick in the first place, I bet strep never goes away! I bet there really is a guy with a chainsaw in my throat! AAAHHHHHHHHHH! I can’t take it anymore, I should just horf up that stupid little guy! I should just give him a piece of my mind! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! That’s what I’d say if I could! AAAAAAHHHHHHHH! (cough, cough) Boy Oh Boy, that pesky little rat just won’t stop! I swear, the moment you walk through that door, I will jump on you, then I will take a nice shower. (cough) You know something, I’m sorry about this morning, and probably tomorrow morning too, because can I tell ya, even though I’m “Definitely going to school tomorrow”,  Read More 
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Unusual Salt Licks and Other Midnight Pests

January 3, 2015
A long lost post from guest blogger Margaret in Fairbanks concerning Unsolved Mysteries, Vehicular Hanky-Panky, Solved Mysteries, Salt as a Life Necessity, the Communion of Friendship, Bears as Pests, Enormous Bird Poop, and Paranoia.

What is it about my car?

So, as you may recall, I work at the North Pole Branch Library which is about 20 miles from my home. As such, my car has a nice uniformly splattered road-grime appearance. Well, on Friday night, I got home at about 8:15PM. It was dark, but I'm pretty sure my car was in its normal state of griminess. The next morning when I was running late for a meeting, I got to my car (it lives about 200 yards away through the woods from my home) and wondered, "What the $%*! happened to my car?" In my paranoid way, I wondered, "Why would someone have done this to my car?" The road-grime had been smeared around all over the car.  Read More 
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WHEN WRITING ON PAPER GETS BORING...

January 1, 2015

Story Vessel/Stonewear 21"/Teadust Glaze/Cone 10/gas

...write on clay.

HAPPY 2015!


New Years Eve in Wisconsin

Fromage Nation:
Birds perch over and feast on roads
Rabbits, Groundhogs, smaller Birds.
Hair is long
men, women, sheep.
Cellphones die.
Fires are lit from the top logs.

In The Driftless
children named
Arrow and Lichen
Sylvan and Sam,
Funeral directors out
of work due to new
waves of at-home practitioners.

Right to die.
Right to cold.
Right to bright sun.

Cows prevail.
Banjos banned
as too hard on young ears.
Potatoes are purple as are hills  Read More 
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Popcorn or Pie: Elaboration #2

December 28, 2014

In the Freezer: Seasonal Ice Cream Cake


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After another long absence, Fish Obits is back again in The Midwest with Mac and Cindy, this time Elaboration of a Sunday afternoon, concerning Nutrition, Lost and Found Objects, Turkey Cake, Greed, Hunger, Persuasion, Sharing as Love.

Cindy: Who's playing?

Mac: Do we have popcorn for the game?

Cindy: We have pie. Who's winning? Read More 
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Crocodiles in Kitchens & Other Headlines

November 2, 2014

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A inventive dialogue between Fish Obituaries editors Cousin Rob, Margaret, and Robin concerning Google Alerts as the Answer to Writer's Block, Treasure Troves, Crocodiles and other Domestic Problems, Loneliness as related to Cruelty, and Succumbing to the Digital Age.

Rob: Ok, Team. Chop, chop. Let's relight our engines. We need content, content, content.

Margaret: We put up the Hula Hoop Interview up. What more do you want?

Rob: Let's aim high. I'm thinking Pulitzer. Read More 
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Zombie Fiction, Ebola Fact, and Obsessive Fear of an Invisible Menace

October 30, 2014

READY FOR ZOMBIE NIGHT PATROL?

In one more Halloween post, novelist and new Fish Obits blogger Michael Carolan, (this essay first appeared in NEWSWORKS/WHYY but we saw it first here at Fish Obits) explores Night Jobs, Modern Obsessions with Death, Terrorism, Contagion, and Deep Unconscious Fears that Fester Just Under the Surface.

(Training Zombies for the Agritainment Attraction referenced below is what Robin does with her free time)

A Night on Zombie Patrol

It's a warm October night. The stars are twinkling, the moon hangs low. Seated on a trailer, we are pulled by a farm tractor — bumping along a deeply rutted road into a broad cornfield along the Connecticut River, four hours north of Philadelphia.

There are 16 of us — a portion of the hundreds of patrons who have visited this interactive Halloween entertainment venue over the last few weeks. I am their commander: narrator of the apocalypse.

A loudspeaker behind me howls out sirens reminiscent of tornado warnings I heard as a boy growing up in the Midwest. The siren is interrupted by an announcer: "This is the National Emergency Alert System—" Static fuzzes him out. "Prolonged exposure will result in certain death ..."

There are the college-aged and the elderly, middle schoolers and soccer moms. Behind them are 15 mounted, high-powered assault rifles — paintball guns. Read More 
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THREE BLACK CATS

October 29, 2014

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For Halloween, a Post on Mystery, this one by Kate C (whose quest for a pen-name has really been needlessly dragging on) concerning the Bewitching Influence of Young Girls, Siblings and Midnight Intrusions, Irrational Hungers and Fears, Animal Domination and, of course, Magic, which Kate is sure does not exist.

I am writing to report upon an extremely mysterious phenomenon occurring in my home. Two of my cats, Kit and Kat, are exhibiting magical powers.

Before I can explain, I must relay relevant Cat History. Kit and Kat are 10 year old sisters. Neither has ever weighed more than ten pounds. Kit is 9.5 pounds; Kat is 9. They are ladylike, dignified, tidy, rarely appear around guests, eat only when hungry. Also they are afraid of many, many things. Read More 
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